So this is the wife's version of the same scene? If so, what do you do to move the plot forward?
I thought the "little things" told in this scene were the most telling. Isn't this the way of relationships? The tip of the wavelet hiding the tsunami below the surface?
I don't know where this story is going except that it's headed toward an explosion. I don't know what kind, and that intrigues me. The fact you can do that in only a few paragraphs leaves me echoing Camille: why isn't this on the bookstore shelves behind an attractive cover?
Christina, I look forward to holding my own autographed copy of your book to read without stopping! Great job.
I really liked Craig before, and wasn't too hot about the wife. But now, boy, my heart bleeds for her.
My only recommendation for change comes in the first paragraph where you state, "Thinking of the tension between us over the last few months had gotten me biting at my lower lip again." It is the word gotten that is awkward for me. Why not just say, "Thinking of the tension between us over the last few months had me biting at my lower lip again." I like that better, and other than that, I have no suggestions. Very well written!
Whew. And here I thought the little wifey was a real problem -- cold and manipulative. She's the opposite.
I really NEED to know the rest of the story. So, when your agent makes the pitch, be sure she makes it very clear that I don't like to wait for the rest of the story -- meaning, if this book were already in print, I would be making a midnight run to WalMart to see if they had it in stock ... and if not, I would order it from ChristianBook and would request OVERNIGHT delivery no matter how much extra it cost!
Wow, This is so well written, I thought at first it was an autobiographical account. Great job capturing the slice of life that isn't as pretty as it is real and tangible. As a fellow writer, hats off to you.
CRITIQUES: I critique any genre of Christian fiction. Submit around 1,000 words to the email in my profile. It’s free, but will be posted here for everyone to learn from. If you’re in need of a full critique, my fee is around $300 for a complete manuscript.
OTHER STUFF: Writing tips, pictures of my pastels, or a bit of what life throws at me.
8 comments:
From your blog to an editor's ears! Thanks for giving me a confidence boost that I can take to conference.
and you're not published yet because.....?
So this is the wife's version of the same scene? If so, what do you do to move the plot forward?
I thought the "little things" told in this scene were the most telling. Isn't this the way of relationships? The tip of the wavelet hiding the tsunami below the surface?
I don't know where this story is going except that it's headed toward an explosion. I don't know what kind, and that intrigues me. The fact you can do that in only a few paragraphs leaves me echoing Camille: why isn't this on the bookstore shelves behind an attractive cover?
Nice, Christina. Life is so one-sided in our eyes. You did a good job showing that in your first 2 chapters.
Christina,
I look forward to holding my own autographed copy of your book to read without stopping! Great job.
I really liked Craig before, and wasn't too hot about the wife. But now, boy, my heart bleeds for her.
My only recommendation for change comes in the first paragraph where you state, "Thinking of the tension between us over the last few months had gotten me biting at my lower lip again." It is the word gotten that is awkward for me. Why not just say, "Thinking of the tension between us over the last few months had me biting at my lower lip again." I like that better, and other than that, I have no suggestions. Very well written!
Great stuff! Enjoyed reading it, Christina. Can't wait to hear the good news of your signing a contract very soon!
Whew. And here I thought the little wifey was a real problem -- cold and manipulative. She's the opposite.
I really NEED to know the rest of the story. So, when your agent makes the pitch, be sure she makes it very clear that I don't like to wait for the rest of the story -- meaning, if this book were already in print, I would be making a midnight run to WalMart to see if they had it in stock ... and if not, I would order it from ChristianBook and would request OVERNIGHT delivery no matter how much extra it cost!
Wow, This is so well written, I thought at first it was an autobiographical account. Great job capturing the slice of life that isn't as pretty as it is real and tangible. As a fellow writer, hats off to you.
Post a Comment