Mini-critiques.
Writers will send me the first 1,000 to 1,500 words of their unpublished stories, or a scene they're having trouble with for whatever reason. I'll shred them with my barbed comments. . . *ahem* . . . gently show them what can improve, and compliment what's already working.
In this way I hope to promote my fellow writers (when they choose to have their names posted along with their work), help writers with self-editing, and give readers a peek at a variety of styles and authors.
I have enough for three posts. Hopefully more will follow. Formatting might be a bit of trial and error. My comments are in blue, what few there are.
Here's my first brave volunteer.
[This critique has been removed.]
That's it for today. Tomorrow I'll have another critique.
3 comments:
This was the first posted piece I couldn't stop reading (I wanted to--the coffee pot just quit dripping and I haven't had my first cup yet).
Lady, you can WRITE!
The emotions packed into this made me ignore the little speed bumps. Yes, Denise should react more strongly that he's not going to church. But this is a tweak, not an edit. I'd suggest, "You're kidding!" And then have her get a tad bit more verbally upset. But the spot where the lipstick smeared into the marble -- trapped, like the dentist who owns it -- really brought the emotion home.
I wouldn't sweat the "strict" part either. "Church dress code" is enough, "strict" is overkill, but not a deal breaker.
I wanna read more of this, and I have to tell you, that rarely happens on blogs.
Well and craftily done! Write on!
It won't be long until Undiscovered hits the shelves. Finding out which publishing house will be fortunate enough to get to put their little logo on the spine is all we're waiting for. : )
You go, Christina! You and yer mum have exciting days ahead.
Have fun with the critiques, Tina!
Actually, I don't have problems with the "strict dress code." What a great kick-off. I figure the color of the shirt means perhaps this is a first meeting and the blue shirt is part of the "way you'll recognize me" plans -- but then there's his thoughts about the brown eyes. Hmm ...
Now, the whole mention of his father walking out of his life and the "devil's in the details" being his father's favorite saying -- these references to his father need to be more than space-takers. (I think.) Dealing with his own "abandonmnet" and the abandoning I think he is planning to do should weave together througout the rest of the story to some degree (doesn't need to be a lot but needs to be there).
I want to know, no, need to know, more about this guy and the plans he is making ... and finally acting on.
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